Below: The aftermath of surviving a full-blown stroke with a considerable chunk of dead brain inflicted
= Time to re'train' your brain
#punintended
Basically trying to (re)'train' the plastic brain around the considerable damage caused to assist in getting get us where we want to go in life #punsintended
Ultimately, my life has been able to move forward, to evolve and to regain some of what was so cruelly (& suddenly) obliterated from life-zapping strokes (with their vast range of effects) not only because of the tremendous support & consideration I receive on the daily (thank you to those absolute treasures of this world!) but also because I live in perpetual hope that things will get better with time if I just hang in there and remain steadily focused on such.
As each year passes, I have fortunately been able to regain some (definitely nowhere near all) aspects of a young life that once was readily at my disposable, that I suddenly lost a considerable decade ago & which my peers mostly have never lost or even struggled with at least to such an extreme & extensive extent. To some outsiders looking in, it may seem like a surreal & elaborate concoction of the biggest proportions you'd only see in the most far-fetched of movies and it surely couldn't possibly be as bad as it seems when one otherwise looks & sounds perfectly 'fine'. Unfortunately, the current vernacular surrounding stroke & stroke survivors, in particular, reflects the sheer ignorance we, as a society, tend to have about brain attacks, why and how they may happen to those under retirement age (a considerable 1/4 of all strokes) & what life can so agonisingly be like for those who have particularly suffered such shocking carnage to their most intricate & advanced organ that's needed every moment of our day. Nothing I tragically - and instantly - lost in late 2012 has ever been handed back to me; it has been an epic & extensive fight just to regain, progress & then conquer every single element of my young life post my second stroke & it is all because of the constant support of my particular Mother Duck believing in me + believing in my future (no matter how bleak it looked), continuously being that squeaky wheel that gets its oil all for my own benefit (in living conditions, independence, progression & support).
Thank you, dear Mummy! Let's have a stroke-smart cheers to my darling matriarch & all the solid supporters of stroke survivors.
Most of us have had that cliché disturbing scene of suddenly waking from a terrifying nightmare in an absolute state & then, once you get over the initial distress & confusion to then recollect your thoughts and establish that it was all just a dream, you promptly calm down & reflect to yourself about the actual situation at hand with such utter relief, 'well, at least it wasn't real'. If only that was the case in my real life.
Below: The clever OTs offered this (humbling) laminated sheet with a simple lowdown of what had happened to me (which my brain initially could not retain no matter how intently I tried to lodge/frequently read it over) that was constantly shown to me as a form of reassurance & to reiterate what sh*t went down in memory's absence (I held onto the original *mis*diagnosis that I had suffered an infection of the brain even after life-zapping stroke to the small-yet-fierce hippocampus had officially - and eventually - been identified 10 days in) during the first six odd weeks I was residing/vacationing at the neuro ward/hospital post Stroke 2.
Above: The most basic of information nearby/in my lap at all times during such a horrific a chapter when I lived in limbo with death a nearing likelihood and which I had reluctantly accepted was certainly going to happen before any immediate family members were even by my side over in London.
Reflecting now over a decade on, how we got through such an extensive & extreme period of pure suffering is honestly beyond me but just look how far we have come!
It may surprise some that even after hospital discharge, a confronting laminated sheet was laid out by my clever registered-nurse, Master-of-Mental-Health Mother Duck (it was not her first rodeo!) to visually display my daily plan for many years as a young stroke survivor trying to simply hold onto some form of life when the odds were certainly stacked against me in my 20s/30s. Not at all what you'd expect during such an otherwise peak time in your life.
St George's Hospital
London U.K.
November 2012
The classic idiom, drain out the dirt and you end up with gold, is a clear representation of my particular life with considerable brain damage & restrictions post strokes in discovering the quality people & celebrating such shining nuggets to the fullest whilst ridding myself of any worthless dirt in the process. Speaking to other stroke survivors who have suffered life-altering effects as a result of their own brain's particular damage and extreme loss in quality of life & its progression, the avoidance + abandonment, harsh judgement & general poor treatment + consideration are common byproducts that are to be expected when your life is smashed to smithereens by stroke/brain damage and your worth in the eyes of some is pulled into question.
Would such feeble treatment be the same if it were other diseases that don't affect the mind (that are less concerning to our current society in fatality rate and disability, only heart disease beats stroke in cause of death, absolutely nothing beats stroke in cause of long-term disability #facts)? After thorough analysis and real-life first-hand experience, the answer is certainly no. Why must stroke survivors have to expect to deal with such awful treatment and judgement during utter chaos & struggle that's true extent can be unfathomable to the vast majority? Admittedly, it once ate me up to the extent I would regularly need sleeping tablets to deflect from confronting thoughts of abandonment, avoidance and critique, but I now have been able to see the positives to such; at least now I have fine-tuned the decent people of our world that are in my life (Exhibit A - below, my darling Queen offering much-needed foot tickles).
Essentially, the two ghastly strokes have meant I just calibrated my life and who/what truly matters in it.
Eureka!
Above: Receiving a little foot massage on top of the A+ company vacationing in the neuro ward while coincidentally hanging onto life by a thread. If you must, my dearest!
St George's Hospital, London, U.K.
November 2012
Above: One of the more obscure side effects of surviving stroke can include initially being unable to be outside in the sunshine for more than a few short minutes without experiencing extreme sunburn due to certain daily anti-inflammatory medication the brain's vulnerable blood vessels may require at the time. It would be such a severe burn that I couldn't even bend my tender red 'lobster' legs without immense pain after just a brief period in the sunshine with doting family & mates (in one memorable instance, some smart buddies had ran out of the nearby ocean to demand/repeat I avoid trying to sun bake at the beach even with sunscreen on & swiftly find a shady spot as previously instructed by my wise Nurse Mother Duck - which I had promptly forgotten within seconds of them leaving hence the reminder - that was then instantly lodged despite my particular memory-processing deficit as I was so entertained & warmed by them caring!).
Suddenly being sensitive to a short sun-baking session =
How very 'unaustralian' of me!
N.Q. Down Under
6 months post second stroke - early 2013
Australian TV's ABC has provided another gem with a range of ways we can help rewind the clock on our own cognitive decline as we inevitably age by using exercise to enhance our lives including when one is seriously unwell -
The insightful Aussie TV show also brings particular attention to our memory-forming, spatial-navigating, emotion-controlling hippocampus (the wee seahorsie-matie that Kitty-Stroke 2 suddenly destroyed, represented in teal, below) & the influence being active specifically has on such a vital part of your thinking-and-being tool.
A revealing perspective of one's touching journey in the throes of a terminal disease of the mind -
Talented Tony noticed straight away how much more animated and vibrant his mother had become when her photograph was being taken by her son as opposed to her otherwise-general demeanour as she was engulfed in suffering from the debilitating, isolating & confusing dementia.
By including Elia in his art, Tony realised his mum was enjoying herself once again, something that is not to be sneezed at.
“She (Elia) felt kind of useless & I didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t wanted anymore,” Elia's doting son, Tony, reflected,
“so I started including her in my art and I noticed how vibrant she became while posing for me.”
Above: Tony & his mother's four-year mother-son photographic collaboration documented the final years of Elia's life as well as her renowned spirit still shining through despite what dementia had so aggressively hindered & controlled.
What a truly beautiful attitude Tony had with a remarkable approach to embrace his Mum's otherwise-confronting journey with immense warmth, inclusion and positivity.
Further shining a light on devastating dementia with a personal (& wholly-uplifting) touch by a particular Aussie family supporting their darling matriarch as her last years of life were grappled with such a merciless neurodegenerative disease -
'A real-life dementia journey, done differently'
Above: One of the most moving news pieces to come out of the Covid pandemic is that of an Aussie fam looking at life from another perspective & then honing in on one's particular strengths whilst making their extraordinary mother duck (who was suffering from crippling Alzheimer's disease) still feel understood as well as valued during an otherwise daunting-&-challenging life chapter.
You beauty!
On top of the above You Tube channel dedicated to Oma and her doting family amongst other fascinating topics, clever son, Jason van Genderen, created a makeshift grocery store at their home during Covid lockdown to ensure his darling mummy was not overwhelmed nor confused by the unfamiliar during her typical quests in her day-to-day life as she courageously battled Alzheimer's disease.
Oma's loving family creating helpful tools to assist in making Oma's daily habits easier to achieve, reminded me of when I was so unwell from just 26 years of age & needing personalised scaffolding measures + 24/7 assistance while initially (living it up) as a neuro-ward patient in hospital for well over a month & later as well, the years that followed when back home Down Under back living with my dear Mother Duck or travelling to another city when I would stay with friends & family members which would require plenty of creative + extensive scaffolding measures in order to simply function in different surroundings. Such included my own familiar bras (long-term-memory items #emotionalconnection) visibly hanging on the bedroom door of the particular room I was staying in &/or a laminated tick list on clear display to ensure I had my daily stroke-preventative drugs plus a list of what I had to eat throughout the day as well as a detailed visible note about what the plan of attack was for the day ahead that I could refer to at any point for reassurance/prompts (& add to my smart phone's handy calendar with times + reminders set to try reduce the amount of times I asked patient souls like my darling Mother Duck & little sister for a simple outline in such a confused-&-forgetful state).
What truly remarkable sorts the van Genderen tribe are ensuring to see life from a different perspective plus accepting such with immense creativity and warmth. The Aussie fam even managed to successfully go straight into my (bruised) brain's long-term-memory bank given just how remarkable they are at supporting & enhancing their loved one's life journey while Oma was braving her every moment with Alzheimer's disease.
Keen to learn about a further endearing display of support & inclusion in our world?!
There's an innovative restaurant in Japan that has waiters who are all suffering from dementia that aims to help others understand such a complex mind disorder & to also encourage the spread of almighty kindness all the while.
The unique beauty in their amnesia is celebrated by the supportive patrons who all look forward to being served their 'mistaken orders' -
Above: You never know what meal you’re going to end up receiving after ordering =
Celebrating a person's life journey regardless of whether it is the norm or not + a delectable meal in the end so let's dig in!
Further heartwarming articles acknowledging + valuing the lives of some of those afflicted with dementia in Japan -
+
Below: Mistaken Orders bringing joy, connection + purpose to both its employees & their patrons. What a truly beautiful idea!
Above: The diligent chefs of Mistaken Orders having a hard-earned break. It's tough work being so popular - just ask me!
Below: As human beings, we may not have the best balance in the animal kingdom nor can we lay claim to being the fastest or even possessing the sharpest teeth or the strongest muscles. Yet we do have something that makes us the top 'dog' on planet Earth.
It seems to be a classic case of brains over brawn & human beings fortunately have intellect by the bucket load.
The human brain is the most advanced thinking tank in this world so suddenly losing any
part of it is going to impede on one's daily life immensely. It is more than the physical effects, it is more than what someone may 'seem' like to an outsider, it is more than what one's own preconceived assumptions of what a brain injury may entail.
For those who have pondered about the technical science behind the classic simile, 'a memory like an elephant' -
One aspect of having such an impressive brain (explained in article above) includes an elephant being able to recognise their own reflection in a mirror, known as 'conscious emotional intelligence' (great apes, dolphins & even Eurasian magpies are just a few other examples of the select species that possess such a sophisticated brain attribute, not all animals fare as well so stand proud yourself, magnificent mind master!). It is also worth mentioning that due to elephants having a highly-developed cerebral cortex, they tend to boast quite the exceptional hippocampus, in particular. No surprises there!
As you clever Strokes-Get-The-Blokes-blog enthusiasts already know due to my second stroke's life-crumbling 'ground zero' location, the brain's hippocampus
is the memory-forming office's
'reception' so elephants being well regarded for their vast memories is not entirely astounding when you consider
Quite the exquisite animal with so much more than just the 'junk in their trunk' #punintended -
It is not at all shocking to learn that the noble elephant, one of the most renowned animals for memory, not only has an incredibly refined hippocampus (regarded as the mind-office's 'memory reception'), but they also boast impressive emotional intelligence, in general.
Together with the clever pachyderm's two distinguished hippocampi, elephants also have notable willpower (much like us humans) that both contribute towards one coveted cerebral cortex.
To further add to their phenomenal brains, the gentle giants have been known to successfully work out tricky mathematical problems smug humans have presented to them too. Smarty pants!
Proving their remarkable memory banks are far superior to other species of the animal world, elephants use their extraordinary memories of their particular experiences lived, with older elephants being able to identify signs a drought is near (for example), promptly seeking greener pastures (<< pun intended) to ultimately help ensure survival of their herd.
Fascinatingly, the grand mammal's complex mind also can identify each individual elephant in their particular clan + important locations as well. Such sophisticated mental capabilities can even be possible decades between their last rendezvous & visits to the specific spots, quite the feat when you don't have easily-retrievable photos nearby or even a handy map of where you went/where you are going!
Go hippocampus, go!
Above: You can't beat an elephant memory! The aliens just need to travel closer to The Sun to get a bit 'brighter' hehe #punintended
It is all in the mind -
Ever wondered why you couldn't at times avoid the detest when meeting someone new? Just blame the complex processes of your sophisticated human brain -
"People will go through all sorts of mental gymnastics to hang onto their initial judgement:
They will seek out information that confirms what they believe to be true, they will look for & take note of your behaviours that reinforce that opinion & ignore or downplay behaviours that are contradictory."
It has shown to be the natural way of the multi-faceted human mind & the first area of the brain that processes the information & then reacts to such is the (original-brain-gangsta) limbic system's amygdala.
Right next door to my lost mind-mate, hippo-c!
First impressions are renowned for sticking around like a bad smell despite people otherwise actively trying to shake them off at times & they can take as little as two seconds to be formed by our hard-working noggin'.
Two tiny seconds to assess someone's confidence, competence, charm, status, warmth & trustworthiness.
Our bright brains also look for signs that their original judgement was correct too, honing in on any behaviours that reinforce such an analysis and dismissing any evidence to the contrary. That's one efficient & bustling brain!
The human mind is always such a busy bee -
You may have noticed yourself how your hard-working 'lump of lead' puts in extra effort upon meeting fresh people.
It is just human nature to swiftly analyse whether a new person we meet is worth our time but it is surprising how it takes less than half a minute for all the sophisticated processes of first impressions to be done with such reasonably-precise evaluations and snap judgements then so often lasting (although we also know there are some genuine friendships that can be reflected with the classic remark below)!
So what exactly are the particular areas of the brain that are first to form snap judgements?!
The mind's amygdala (it's hippocampus's 'noggin-neighbour'! See below) in the 'emotional brain's' limbic system & also the cingulate sulcus (which is linked to decision making & assigning subjective value to rewards) are firing all cylinders analysing + encoding the new information as well as trying to confirm that the first impressions stay true by continually seeking supporting evidence throughout one's initial interaction with another person.
Turns out that meeting new people is quite the elaborate brain exercise!
Above: Get to know the various areas of your remarkable thinking tank that perform such advanced human processes. It'll make you quite the intriguing party guest, that's for sure!
Below: The results of my particular sinus rhythm (courtesy of an ECG analysis via a savvy smart-watch feature that can swiftly record a sample to check for atrial fibrillation *AF*) found I don't seem to show any symptoms of AF which was already identified post strokes thanks to extensive medical testing in their wake but handy for others who have yet to receive an official ECG & were pondering if they may be able to help identify such through their easily-accessible smart watch.
Alarmingly, an irregular heartbeat has shown to increase one's stroke risk by a considerable FIVE times MORE likely with many sufferers not even aware their health is in danger (having now had my heart analysed while initially living it up as a neuro-ward patient & even as an outpatient in the years that followed many a time post strokes, I am fortunate to know it isn't an issue in my particular case, still had to triple check with one of my 'medical-team members', the diligent li'l smart devices, though). 
Above: Do try out this nifty piece of technology available on your smart device yourself - you may just find you have symptoms of atrial fibrillation & could help prevent/treat/identify a future brain attack (a concerning 1-in-4 strokes are associated with AF) &/or other serious health concerns before it possibly being too late.
August 2022
Below: Results of an online test to help identify how well I can particularly see shades of red despite technically still having a visual deficiency as an effect of my first stroke to the mind's 'sight spot', known as the occipital lobe, do give a li'l vision test a go yourself!
Above: Losing half of the brain's entire visual cortex when Stroke 1 hit while at my school's end-of-school-year staff party did not affect processing what colour I am specifically seeing nor correctly identifying what it is that I do see which can be suddenly lost by a brain attack. So no worries!
10+ years as a stroke survivor
Jan 2023
Below: Now, a considerable decade on from abruptly being forced to live a life of a struggling invalid with no future promised & such merely hanging in the balance with unfathomable loss in all aspects of my young life, to progressing to now being able to live on my own, regularly make my own (colourful & creative!) meals, find my own way to school & various appointments*/dates* scheduled if needed + be engrossed in a smoothly-flowing conversation with ~ lucky ~ people & even finally being able to recall such occasions the following day. All by myself (finally!). Such are some giant leaps for Kitty-kind right there. Let's celebrate!
Above: A stroke-suffering Kitty who needed full-time care & guidance - instantly (there was no gradual transition, it was forced upon us the very moment I woke suffering my second stroke, on the verge of death) that was selflessly provided by my mental-health-specialised, master-of mental-health-educated, registered nurse Mother Duck (+ plenty of 'stroke-smart' chocolate) during those initial years would be exceptionally impressed at the immense progress which has finally been attained in my particular life after such catastrophic events & ongoing hardship + let's not forget all the (lucky) lads acquired along the way #strokesgettheblokes!
Above: Embracing the light along with the overwhelming darkness in my particularly challenging life, ensuring to carry on glowing regardless of which phase I'm currently in. Continuing to shine bright despite what has happened to me, I stay the same genuine Kitty-Moon. Although I do wish I too was made of cheese like ole lunar mate; Swiss cheese to be precise because we are both 'holy' #punintended.
Ultimately, what particular personality traits do I think have helped me get through the past shocker of a decade as I continuously and strenuously try to regain a life worth living now as a two-time young stroke survivor?
Without a doubt, resilience, persistence & even my renowned stubbornness have all been specifically required in this ongoing battle to make something of my life despite all the shortcomings I've unavoidably suffered post dual strokes.
Through my firsthand experience & observations over the past decade+ as a young stroke survivor, I have bear witness to the current focus on gratitude as yet another way our culture presently dismisses importance of social support & involvement.
In our present world, the end of one's suffering tends to be wholly dumped on the individual themselves & this extended beyond the direct effects I particularly suffered from the strokes for the secondary effects have been far harder to handle. If I have had struggles due to feeling forgotten & excluded by select 'mates', then that is currently on me & I should be grateful they even still talk to me/consider me at all when it otherwise may seem like I have nothing of value to offer them.
There is even the odd (ill-informed) person fortunate in life to relish in their independence, progression, choices and freedom who then insist on telling me to be grateful. It just wouldn't be acceptable treatment (nor qualified, necessary judgement) for those experiencing less concerning health battles + diseases (only heart disease beats stroke in cause of death; no other health concern is more prevalent in acquired long-term disabilities worldwide than stroke, with a considerable one-in-three strokes striking someone while in their otherwise prime) who are instead given bucketloads of sympathy, inclusion, consideration + respect & such blatant disregard is extremely harmful as well as ignorant to even suggest to someone constantly battling to try stay alive whilst struggling with extreme loss, restrictions & obstacles every single moment of their lives.
The mere fact I haven't given up, mentally speaking, despite the cruel blow I've been dealt & continue to suffer through every single second of my days since strokes - over a decade ago + most of my adult life - ought to be commended & celebrated, not harshly judged and banished like unfortunately is so often the case for those living with the extreme effects of brain damage. If my (oh-so-witty-yet-also-informative) brain blog helps spread that vital message, I will be one happy feline.
Hanging in there like the tenacious palm tree above is this stroke-surviving, after-injury-thriving Kitty Kat to a T. We'll 'just keep swimming' - memory-loss-spirit-animal Dory style - and see what euphoric paradise we eventually end up on.
Let's stick to the tropical theme & enjoy a few (blood-thinning #strokesmart) piña coladas while we're at it!
What a fricking journey and struggle but thanks for unpacking a lot here for all to read. You should deffo be proud of yourself. Seems like lots of others are proud of you too.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words of support and understanding, Wilfus. You're not too bad yourself, seeing life from a different perspective can be hard for some but you have empathy & wisdom by the bucketloads. Stand proud!
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