Most of us know the value of photography in educating (just look at Instagram's educational shots hehe) and if you've known me for longer than five minutes, chances are we've had a photograph taken together (for 'educational' purposes, of course). Once, I was so moved by an art exhibition where the theme was sad and/or angry moments captured on a personal level which made me ponder why we only capture our happy times. Reflecting, it just seemed insincere as well as inaccurate in capturing the days of our lives and since then, I have since actively embraced such occasions as well as the awkward moments in one's life. Surely such experiences are just as important to reflect on/entertain in the future - perhaps you feel the same way too.
These raw, some rather confronting, yet all highly-intriguing photographs are my opportunity to show the world what my life as a two-time stroke survivor entails. Nay, a 27-year-old two-time stroke survivor, who is one Special K with a vast range of truly extraordinary human beings offering their services in entertaining, feeding, grooming, spooning, tickling and loving a brain-damaged Kitty Kat during this challenging loss-of-mind ordeal that's end is unknown.
Above: Fan mail!
Students from the close-knit Twickenham school I was a teacher at made all these brilliant hand-made get-well cards once they discovered I had a stroke on our last day of school, mere hours into the official Summer Holidays.
It's like a Hallmark movie (pun intended)!
July 2012
Clapham London U.K.
If anyone was to ponder why I love being a teacher, this above picture sums it up. The first stroke happened on the very last day of the London calendar school year (late-July 2012), at the evening's celebrations with my British colleagues. The London school I was working in is in a tight-knit and beautiful community in Richmond-upon-Thames borough and when word got out that I had a massive stroke mere hours into our Summer Holidays, many extraordinary hand-crafted letters were posted my way, as well as get-well gifts that truly expressed the tight connection I had with the wonderful British children and the school (which was such a relief as I was filled with anxiety and guilt). Considerate students who knew me well, even gave a huuuuge 'blood-pressure-reducing' Ripple chocolate block (long-term-memory worthy - evidently)! Whilst chocolate provided instant endorphins (inference: chocolate is scientifically proven to be good for us!), the supportive words from my little English souls particularly gave a new lease on life. When you have such a serious health scare, you realise who you are important to and also, who you are not. And there's definitely been people who couldn't care less about a brain-injured Special K! Fortunately, the future of GB seem to be fans of Miss Laird (perhaps because of the extensive joke collection) and their supportive words - laced with their warm humour and striking individuality - will forever be in my long-term-memory bank. One smart nine-year-old student even put a recurring value symbol on their 'lots of love' - a symbol I specifically had taught my class (and had retained I had as prior to mind attack) when converting 1/3 (common fraction) into a decimal fraction (0.33⁻). Evidently, they had found it such an intriguing mathematical symbol that they wanted to show their direct learnings in my class earlier that year in their hand-crafted get-well card (below). Has anyone ever smiled so much they had sore cheeks over seeing a simple mathematical symbol?! Miss Laird now has.
Below:
First days out of hospital and already have the lads helping a compromised Kitty out. Given my sudden vision loss (50% of my visual field, there one day, gone the next), someone helping with my hair and make-up helped me out immensely, even if they had no clue how to actually do it. It's the thought that counts!
Clapham London U.K.
Because my colleagues were not overly aware nor educated about strokes hitting young people, in particular, we (including my sleepy, headache-ridden self) weren't at all concerned when my first stroke initially happened. Shockingly, it took us several hours before we even made the trip (in the back of a colleague's car - that's how much of an emergency we regarded my strange sudden burst of a headache & its lingering various side effects of wanting to sleep and uneasy on my feet as) to hospital and even more time was wasted once at hospital - waiting - when the supposedly well educated medical staff didn't take my condition seriously (shame, shame, shame on them indeed) until my lovely 'English mums' demanded the hospital finally acknowledge my alarming and deteriorating state. Reflecting, I am truly fortunate that I didn't have more severe brain injuries nor die during that time spent in limbo before I was treated for the first stroke. If you have ever had someone close to you have a stroke (other than me, of course!) - given alarming statistics, I'm presuming you have - you would be aware of the symptoms.
Here are some typical symptoms of someone experiencing a stroke - you never know when or where you may need to use such knowledge -
- Sudden onset of headache (stroke #1 symptom)
- Confusion/lack of memory and/or memory retention (stroke #2 symptom)
- Unable to smile properly or repeat a simple sentence (stroke #1 & stroke #2 symptom)
- Unable to poke tongue out in a straight manner (stroke #1 symptom - I thought it was incredibly strange that they were asking me to do such a cheeky act at the time - I was doing it before Miley Cyrus copied me!)
Whilst many strokes happen to people who are older, 1/3 of 'us' stroke survivors are youngsters. So in essence, roughly one in eighteen of us will have a stroke when we are young (under 50) and more so if we are females - through my novice research about neuroplasticity (fancy term used by neurology hotshots *and me* for the nervous system's *aka the brain's own little body system* ability to change/mould its structure and function in the brain post damage), I have had to acknowledge that I now have a higher mortality rate for the rest of my life. Every day, I take a cocktail of steroids + blood thinners to keep my blood-vessel inflammation at bay (to prevent a third stroke), actively participate in brain re-training exercises (which also include iPhone apps *i.e.: Lumosity and Smiling Mind*), encourage new neuron routes around the damaged pieces of brain through cooking, puzzles (Hello-Kitty! and African-Jungle-themed ones for this Kitty-Kid), occupational therapy, speech-&-language therapy (both biweekly sessions ended recently due to my brain's improvement. Boom!), regular volunteering at a supportive primary school - even just visualising familiar places like my old Twickenham classroom helps retrain my brain (would even assist to improve non-damaged ones)!
- Paralysis of one side of the face and/or body (stroke #1 symptom).
An important recommendation (and one I was slightly neglecting leading up to both strokes) is to ensure there is plenty of rest after suffering a brain injury (I'm now like a baby! My brain literally enforces this one now with frequent Kat naps). Please take this on board for if you ever have a stroke/know someone who has just had a stroke (the first two years post brain injury are vital in optimal neural rerouting). Whilst I was able to go back to my full-time profession a mere six weeks post Stroke #1 (with determination, optimism and enthusiasm! I was an Aussie battler first time 'round!), it is almost a year since stroke #2 happened (so over 8x the rehab time *before I returned to full-time work* I had for stroke #1, thus far) and I'm still a long way off even being able to give a full day at the supportive school I have been volunteering at for several months now (due to my sleepy brain getting so easily fatigued because I must use it immensely whilst in the classroom!).
Up until July 2012, I had no inkling that I would have two strokes in the final months of being a 26 year old (wonder) woman. The only warning signs that could have been considered were regular (weekly) headaches (let that be a lesson to you all!). It is also worth noting that I don't smoke, my blood pressure has always been fine (even now) and my blood-cholesterol levels are absolutely perfect (I know that last attribute surprises many of you who know my love for high cholesterol foodies, thank the daily porridge fix!), as is my head and/or neck injury history (lack there of). Of course, I could have been more proactive in pinpointing why I was having regular headaches before the first stroke occurred, but I'm a typical Australian/Pom (I'm a hybrid of the two) and sweep much of my dust (ala the regular headaches) under the avoidance rug. This is why I feel such a passion for helping make people aware of strokes and to recognise the vast range of symptoms one may suffer when having a stroke to ensure they receive medical help promptly - the appropriate treatment I (eventually) received has undoubtedly saved my life.
It has been truly extraordinary how people react to my strokes (parents and grandparents *not just mine* are so far my favourite supporters. So warm, empathetic and nurturing. Children - a close second, naturally!). Some peers are completely ignorant and think strokes merely affect your muscles or perhaps just part of your vision and because I looked like my ole self (post initial treatment, not when I had to go on fat-face steroids), trying to live my life of yesteryear, the sheer ignorance has been quite a distinct and frequent challenge. People thought that because I looked 'normal', I may just be experiencing a mini-stroke where I am just fatigued more than usual because they saw that symptom once in a movie and everything else is working fine - simply because I look fine so I should shut up and be grateful. It is hard to explain this newfound life chapter, but I do hope the blog entries shed some light on brain-injured Miss Laird.
WOAH! Stroke Kitty 1.0 - Don't be concerned by this sad Kitty Kat (in ca-ute fashion) shot taken in the first days in hospital after a life-changing brain injury - this face was my hospital-gown-chic, model-esque pose of 2012. Or Perhaps I was just hungry (what's new?!) and asking my little flow of visitors when they were going to feed me dinner (see next shot).
Friends would cut up my truly-yummy hospital food (...because that bloody eyesight of mine *lack there of* was causing trouble again hehe! I may have been spoiled with that one) - and yep, she even had a few spoonfuls herself (Z.Hanson loved it!). Thanks National Health System!
Supportive buddies have always ensured to provide the bare essentials (ala Dumb-&-Dumber style) - laughter, love, affection, plenty of new underwear and business suit silk pyjamas (for business time), cookies, Happy Meals, Kitty-Kat balloons and of course, a make-your-own-boyfriend pack (a thoughtful-AND-necessary gift - I'll use in case of an emergency, of course). Obviously, I was the most popular patient on the ward with wonderful Klubbers, even my roomies (fellow patients) and employees (nurses) wanted some chitty chat (I happily obliged/spooned)! It may surprise you to discover but I actually liked hospital - life is about attitude (dear Daddio, Brumby Bob's life motto) after all and I truly made the most of my newfound (temporary) home!
This lady is more amazing than all the potatoes in all of the world. Look how much she is loving my sexy hospital get up - clearly wants snuggles (and she got them)
Friends and dear colleagues (plus my school's close-knit community) have ensured to regularly send messages of support throughout this ordeal, with dark (my-kind-of) humour laced messages being ever so present. This prime example below is a message I received after Stroke #1 in July 2012. A colleague had visited hospital a few days after I was hospitalised (and a few days into our school holidays - he should have been livin' it up abroad! What a sweetie pie!) and after he left, swiftly sent me this rather witty, although-highly-morbid, message (LOVED IT!). I just have a habit of bringing out the best in people!
Above: Dry English Humour. The Best Medicine
Buddies would constantly visit (what else do they have to do in boring ole London town?!) to have quality time on my garden terrace (aka the hospital's roof. Thanks NHS!) despite needing to finalise some important work (seen here via the convenience of a Smart Phone in assisting such duties) during the many weeks in hospital in 2012. They'd bring in Happy Meals and copious amounts - and variation - of chocolate bars, complain about the location of the hospital (in terms of London's public-transport zones, which given its spot in Zone 3, cost more for inner-city dwellers to visit - price I had to pay for a world-class neuro ward! Sorry mates! ), offer words of encouragement laced with their unique humour and familiar lingo (which soothed the nerves of this confused brain-damaged sort!), describe the goings-on in their and the world (especially dates, friends doing embarrassing acts and/or social occasions) and all the while, tend to some urgent work of their own through the benefits of technology (fortunate for such as it meant they could regularly leave work early for our hang outs). That's how much I must have entertained them when they'd visit (for them to keep on returning! As if I'd remember they had visited 10 minutes later! Kitty-Humble Pie!) - this below shot is evidence of the priority I held in peoples' lives (I swear he's not just searching for the location of the nearest bar, but rather, organising important work he should be at work doing) and also, how lovely my Klubbers have been to their favourite Special K.
Friends would also send me pick-me-up messages whilst they were working (and I was Little Miss Anxious!), with a picture of a little character they created with their cufflinks. Have I reverted back to being an 8-year-old child?! Good.
Whilst at hospital, I got plenty of foot tickles from a colleague I refer to as Queen - all you need to do is ask nicely (and make her laugh - so easy to do!). Give it a go!
When I initially left hospital after Stroke 1 in mid-2012, some 'Goodies' kept brain-damaged-and=body/being-compromised Kitty company on the Tuuuuube when I needed to go to outpatient appointments and/or social occasions (and provide their unique facial expression for photos, below, just days after Stroke 1) that if attempted to be done alone, cause anxiety for this Special K as I may forget where I'm going or why I am going there - stressful city!
Buddies were forever taking me to the pub for plenty of blood-thinning refreshments (it is said red wine can help reduce your stroke risk - it's science!) and connect-four brain (re)training (inference - rehabilitation) during the first days out of hospital (...actually, they still keep up such beneficial therapy!) in August - October 2012.
Endorphin-filled tantalising dates in the sunshine, having are few blood-thinning wines within days of the first hospital release (aka a week after brain damage #1!) with some of the most beautiful people around - they were looking after their Kitty! I look right as rain to the naked eye, but my brain was as scrambled as an egg and needed 24-hour care (I still need around-the-clock care). Not to worry; I can still have fun and more importantly, be fun, thank goodness!
Just over a week after Stroke #1 and I'm challenging the Brits to some arm wrestles at the pub - definitely not letting my hemiparesis (one-sided body weakness - common effect of stroke) take my fun away!
Upon returning home from the hospital after Stroke #1, colleagues greeted myself with all these lovely cards from beautiful English students that had sent Laird-love letters on their Summer Break (they found out during such that I had suffered a stroke on our last day together! They were all so eager to see me in the new school year too) which not only showcased their utmost support and love for this Kitty *mmhmm Miss Laird*, but also explain why I love being a teacher (it is not often that people in other career paths would get such a vast range of get-well items - especially the beautifully-handmade *with love* variety!) - some pieces even showcased what I had directly taught those students *past and present* - i.e.: 2A sentence (two adjectives before each noun in a sentence) or a recurring symbol above 'lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of love', as well as the special nickname given to a student when I had taught them the power of alliteration earlier in the year (FYI - the alliteration-inspired nickname that was given as a quick example has now stuck forevermore, yes Dizzy!).
P.N.: Stroke #1 (conveniently) occurred in the first few hours of our 6-week summer holidays from school - at our end-of-school year party! So I technically didn't require one sick day after stroke #1 (stroke #2 has almost accumulated a whole year worth of sickies!).
I was back teaching year 4 (LOVE!) again with everything good to go, including my assimilation pack (aka: Team GB t-shirt from the truly magical 2012 London Summer Olympic Games a few weeks earlier) and Welcome 4L sign up - units were planned, resources prepared, learning groups allocated and pencils were indeed all sharpened. Yep, Kitty meant serious business!
It just isn't a Twickenham/Richmond school without returning to a sea of gifts, flowers, gift vouchers, chocolate (RIPPLES! How did everyone know my weakness?!), more personalised hand-made-with-LOVE cards wishing me well with my rehab and unique art pieces from ever-supportive colleagues, students AND the families of students I taught. Best job ever.
Some pieces that were in my classroom upon my return to school post Stroke #1 in September 2012, include these reflections done by my previous year's students. Taking shots of the reflections has ensured to remind that I had such a profound effect on children (to help me when I'm feeling down about this silly ole brain injury). So much so, that many put they were going to miss their teacher (when they went to year 5), the little bells collected from travels all around the world placed in various spots in the classroom (used as attention devices - definitely going to have them in my home when I have my own children, of course) and the obsession with cooking lessons (don't get me started on the range of key learning areas covered when you cook with students! It was our 'end-of-term' tradition). I certainly felt the love!
Incredibly humbling moments for Miss Laird! I could dwell on my life's daily hurdles, what has been taken away from me as a direct result of my brain injury and the vast array of challenges brain damage has thrown my way - and there are indeed some days where I feel like no one in the world could possibly understand what I'm going through and that I'm stuck this Special-K way forevermore, but for the most part, I know I have been incredibly fortunate in merely surviving two massive strokes and the brain damage + its turmoil that ensued, as well as identifying my little condition (which requires daily blood thinners to be safe) before it had a fatal effect. I am truly humbled. Furthermore, I am thankful (as I am sure everyone around me is too) that I am still able to shower myself (a nurse has tested this seemingly-otherwise-simple ability. I showed *not showered* her!), volunteer at a local school without students realising I have a memory deficit (I'm one smooth operator in keeping the focus purely on them! Those kids are bloody perceptive - it's harder to disguise memory loss than you think), cook a scrumptious meal (that was also tested by medical professionals along with a range of typically demeaning tasks to be examined for a 20 something year old woman), enjoy dates with all the blokes that like the strokie version of Kitty (meow!) and/or receive some serious spooning sessions from my dear Klubbers (please note: spooning and dating abilities not tested by occupational therapist. They must have known strokes didn't affect my affection abilities - see below for hospital hugs with fellow patients! Smarties).
Lucky little Kitty.
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