Turn Off the Lights and I'll Glow

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light”

- J.K. Rowling (one wise, magical soul)

I'm sure many can relate to JK's analogy with your own 'pumps' (your supporters/my Kitty Klubbers) that light up your world in all your life's dark chapters. Just like a glow-in-the-dark star that I am, my pumps' lights shine and this gives me my own energy to glow in this dark chapter

Above: At the lower LHS - one of two 'chunks' of dead brain that are hanging out in my thinking device.  

This enlightening shot into my soul was taken using a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan (I asked the docs if I could take a photo of such impressive brain damage. My team of docs have always been good sports).  This shot above is the first stroke's brain damage that had a range of brain deficits post (some still lingering in my mind *PI*. I guess you could say we're going steady now!).  

However, those challenges were spread around my whole being (listed in previous blog entries) and I was actively and optimistically tackling such - even successfully venturing 'back to school' after acquiring this first chunk of brain injury (& all the while with inflamed blood vessels in my brain, but we were none the wiser of such a cause of the first stroke as we were in the midst of medical testing to find such at the time) a mere six weeks post. Not because I was necessarily ready for full-time work (because #extremefatigue), but because I hadn't taken a moment to stop and analyse the situation objectively, everyone was treating me like I wasn't Special K and I believed them as such. I surely didn't look at how my profession - that I knew only to love with all my heart - would impede on my rest, rehabilitation and well-being (and something that may have added to the second stroke happening just a few months post Stoke #1). 

Reflecting on my own brain battles (the result of just one stroke clearly shown by the 'blob' in the image above), I've realised that to survive a massive stroke (or two) is to live through adversity; it is an ongoing, mentally-exhausting battle (for the stroke survivor and their empathetic-+-patient support network that stick by them) and not just the moment the brain injury occurs (ala severe headache, paralysis, confusion/lack of memory retention, loss of sight, slurred speech and/or drooping muscles in face and body) before seeking (effective) medical treatment, but it is also the years it takes to regain/rehabilitate from one stroke and/or if you're really unlucky, multiple.  Being young means - due to my brain's youthful plasticity - the progress + gains tend to be faster and more substantial than someone with the same extent of brain injury in their twilight years (silver lining for this young Kitty!).   To be positive, determined, patient and humorous are important traits that I recommend to hone in on (+ actively execute) for anyone who has themselves suffered brain injuries and/or a severe, ongoing health obstacle. Admittedly, the confronting path forcefully taken has been (for myself + my dear Klubbers) painful, tedious and at times, discouraging, especially with what I still have yet to mentally achieve, what I have tragically lost (a youthful life, career, 'friends', independence and travel!), the general ignorance and insensitivity by many because of their avoidance/lack of understanding and all the while, being fully aware that all my peers are travelling the world, furthering their careers and/or being independent.  Of course, this stark awareness makes me occasionally wish that I was not so with 'it', that I didn't realise just what I have lost in my life and the quality of such and not becoming upset (because of my own ignorance) when people ignore or treat me in a way that hurts to my core (if I had a different part of my brain damaged from the strokes, I may not be as troubled by such, because I wouldn't be as aware of their particular attitudes/treatment).  Sure, this is the road less travelled by a 20-something (witty) woman, but this particular course also offers the opportunity to prosper and reach personal achievement that I otherwise would not have experienced in my twenties. Boom, shake the room! 

This fierce attitude may as well be why strokes get the blokes all across the world, hey, hey, hey! 

Now, let's bring a little joy to this blog entry by finishing with some humour (the best medicine). 

Strokes Get the Blokes 

- photographic evidence (you asked for it!)

Above: Recent Australia-Day 2014 celebrations at Byron Bay (like moths to a peacock-flame *us or them?!*) with some lovely female Klubbers (+ newly-acquired superhero fans). 

Brisbane blokes (just a typical night out at Limes Hotel when Kitty is in the house) - they just couldn't help themselves

Dublin (highest growing capital city...get it?! They did) where you instantly feel like you're a kid in a candy store (PI heyyyyyy potato lover, KG) during St Paddy's Day celebrations (a mere few months before strokes truck), wanting to do everything all at once.

Munich for a festival of beer (aka blood thinners), 'prosts' and wursts with a healthy ratio of men to women a few months post Stroke 1 with Stroke 2 about to strike in a few weeks' time.

London in our hip East-London-esque attire (yep, this avid fan is getting his Kitty-Kreep on)

Amsterdam - where we are all in love and (comfortably) sitting on a bike's handle bars on one of the Dam's many bridges with two Dutch bros (/new besties loving my/their work)

Budapest at a week-long music festival a few weeks post Stroke #1 in August 2012 (it's good to see my 'boss' attitude was still in tact!) - these Western-Australian lads ensured I knew where our VIP 'functioning-toilets-&-freshly-flowing-hot-showers' area (at a music festival?! - Boom Euro festivals!) were every day and more importantly, they made certain that I was a regularly-fed Kitty. Because of the first massive piece of brain dying just a few weeks prior to this Czech music festival, I was still dealing (around the clock) with a vast range of thinking/being deficits, in particular, my short-term-memory concerns (that were a 'walk in the park' in comparison to Stroke #2's significant memory deficit), fatigue and visual-field loss (50% gone one night when the first stroke struck a few weeks prior).  Such kind gentlemen helped this Special K find my way around the Euro-style event (I never managed to memorise where the bathrooms/toilets were, but the eastern-European guy making us freshly-made bacon-&-egg 'baps' every morning went straight into my long-term-memory bank! Naturally) and they also ensured I found my way back to my own tent safely (short-term memory at its finest - reminiscent of the 'Car Park' episode of Seinfeld!). Thank you for helping a Special K out, dear Cubey and Co!

Finally, the little Italian island known as Sardinia (Exhibit A & B above; C below). Check out our darling Italian admirers! 

Exhibit C

Now,I could keep posting evidence of just how the strokes get the blokes all across the world, but I think I really sold it to you with Exhibit C's free reign of Tony's delicious food and wine at his otherwise-closed deli, just because he is a kind-+-generous gentleman and Kitty + Aviva were in the house. Boom.

#strokesgettheblokes

As John Lennon once said (about peace, but peace of Kitty-Mind fits too) - 

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

A few weeks post Stroke #1 in August 2012, I visited this renowned wall in Prague, known quite simply as John Lennon Wall.  Along with creative images, it also has a collection of his and The Beatles' lyrics sprawled by anyone who visits - with absolute freedom to express yourself by showing your Lennon/The Beatles respects (the wall symbolises the fight against oppression, praising freedom and freedom of speech. Decent spot to venture!). 

I love that I can still be a dreamer like Lennon actively was, that I too can still imagine and I especially LOVE that I am a two-time stroke survivor who has a mind that is such a tremendously hard-working brain (damaged and all) - I'm still going to go places in my life, regardless of this bump and fork in the road.

After such a life-changing experience, I can indeed say that Lennon was/is right; all you need is love - fortunately I have got (& get) plenty - even for my Special-K damaged brain.